Say What?

Ladies, with Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, don't be a disappointment to your family...again and not bring a serious relationship with you to the family gathering.

Are you tired of hearing, "When are you going to bring a nice boy home?"

Well, fear not! I'm offering my services for the low low price of $299/night (and a plate of lunch/dinner and pumpkin pie [whipped cream required for pie]).

What does that include?

  • Matching outfits, matching colors, or sweaters.
  • A backstory. Where we met, some silly whimsical thing I did to make you fall in love with me
  • Eye contact with every family member as they talk to us
  • Family Friendly Charades or Telestrations (both for an addition $20).
  • Arrival and Leaving together (I can drive down the street and park, and you can pick me up there so we can arrive together. To use my vehicle to look more like a gentleman, an added $20 per house).

Family Friendly 85%

Fashionable 40%

Psycho 14%

Reliable 95%

Handy 75%

Terrorist Chance 1%

340

Total Holidays

3

Satisfied Families

620

Eaten Dinner Plates

What I can do for YOU!

If you want to stop your auntie from giving you "that look", I can help! For a low price of $299 a day (plus any a la carte options), I can be the best fake-boyfriend around.

Conversation (Rated PG-13)

I can converse for hours on a wide variety of topics. If you know, in advance, what your families likes and dislikes are, I can study up too!

Soft P.D.A.

We will need to seal the deal with a couple of small gestures of our "love." Holding hands at appropriate times, simple glances of affection at just the right moment, and a playful shove to show our joking ways. Everything you need to convince your family that we're the real deal.

Break-Up Excuse

You're going to need an excuse after the holidays why I'm no longer around. I'll build a nice little script to run through, get talking points in place, and even rehearse our break up over the phone. Then, when the time is right, we will break up over the phone in front of your family.

Testimonials

Still kind of iffy on the whole experience? Check out what people are saying below!